The Jacaranda Brings on the Texas Boot – by Charlie Macias

She was too caught up in what she was caught up in. She wasn’t paying full attention to the details. And it cost her. She got the Texas Boot, baby!

The end of the summer came around and she really hadn’t taken a break. Work, work, work. Finally, she requested time off in early Septembe.She wanted to visit a spa she’d heard raves about. It would cost her a pretty penny, but she deserved this treat, she thought.

Massage, meditation, total relaxation were the spa’s calling card. A retreat like no other! Come in, forget the world out there and come out cleansed and de-stressed. Marvel at the centerpiece of the spa: a mighty jacaranda tree! Purple flowers/petals creating a canopy of utter beauty! Some say simply viewing the tree and contemplating its wonderfulness could bring a peace like no other. She was looking forward to being in the presence of the wondrous jacaranda!

But the trip to the spa was troublesome. There was a lot of traffic and she got lost when her car navigation system went blank. But some helpful town folk put her back in the right direction and she was happy to see signs on the highway announcing that the spa was very near. Yes, the signs featured the purple –petaled  tree!

Alas, when she drove to the entrance of the spa there was a long line of cars in front of her and the pack of cars was moving slowly. She decided to be bold; she decided she could not wait any longer. She wanted to check in quickly, get to her room and rush to see the amazing purple tree!

She decided to park on the side of the road, grab her luggage and walk to the front gates of the spa. I will NOT be denied! she laughed to herself as she strolled onto the grounds. She was met by friendly spa staff who escorted her to the front desk of the facility.

Moving quickly ahead: She had an amazing experience! The yoga, mindfulness workshops and clean eating menu was just what she needed! The spa more than lived up to its billing! She was one very satisfied (and relaxed) customer.

At the conclusion of her stay she walked back to her car. It appeared different to her. As she walked closer she saw a bright yellow metal yoke of some sort attached to her front wheel on the driver’s side.  There was also what appeared to be a parking ticket planted on her front window planted behind the windshield wiper. She grabbed the ticket and looked it over. “Parked in a No Parking zone.” The penalty fee was astronomical. In addition, the ticket described that she’d have to call a local tow service to remove the yellow yoke locked onto her front tire. There would be no way she could drive her car with that thing attached to the wheel. To have the bright yellow yoke removed would be another high fee. She looked further down the road and noticed a small sign on a metal post. It probably warned that this area was a No Parking zone, she thought. She hadn’t noticed it when she drove in.

As she took another look at her ticket a patrol car drove up and slowly rolled to a stop next to her. The patrol car window eked down and an officer looked at her, “You got the Texas Boot, lady!”

Moonshot – by Charlie Macias

I talked to the moon because I thought it was my friend--

You let me down on two fronts!

What’s up with that?!

I’m gonna give you one more chance

I know you’ll let me know it’s coming

Maybe you’ll shoot down a particularly bright moonbeam

Maybe you’ll give us one of those fantastic Harvest moons

(Pause….sigh…reflection)

Did the moon just wink at me?!!!

Jaguar Says – The Return -by Charlie Macias

PSYCHIATRIST: Haven’t seen you in awhile.

JAGUAR: Yeah, been sorting through some stuff.

P: What’d you come up with?

J: Life is a grind.

P: Oh wait! Let me call the New York Times and get that as tomorrow’s headline!

J: I pay you too much.

P: So your realization has helped you somehow?

J: It’s hard working the jungle, but I know how to do it. There are things I don’t like about the work, but I know how to do it and sometimes you just have to grind.

P: Cool. And you don’t even go for those expensive coffee beans that you must GRRRRRRInd.

J: You get infused with the spirit of Henny Youngman somehow?

P: My work is a pain sometimes, too. I get facetious to unleash tension.

J: Glad to hear that your patients and I bring you such joy.

BIRD: I will attack them while they ponder their lack of stress management skills!

I Got My Answer – by Charlie Macias

Did I tell you I got my answer? That would be a lie. There is no answer. Just ever-changing highs, huh-whuhs, absences and more highs. You wanna know why? Because I can’t settle for the obvious (?) no, because her looks get to me, because she gives me that smile, because I don’t want to believe nothing’s going to happen.

I may leave with no answer.

This, my friends, is called sweet confusion.

But don’t worry. Charlie is cool at this end of the year.

Its Own World (August 2018) – by Charlie Macias

Talking to yourself about her

It’s its own world

All the ups and downs

You’re sure, you’re not sure

The evidence is obvious

The evidence is misconstrued

Sometimes you get so angry

Sometimes you get so blue

What the hell is going on??

But you know the answer

You ask for a sign

You yell in the car, smack the steering wheel

And you ask for a sign

The desperation makes you laugh

And so relief is delivered

And you can go back to banging your head against a wall

Smacked by the Angel of Love – by Charlie Macias

I was out walking, just minding my own business. (No, I was not whistling) I walked around the corner and PUM!

Now why did she have to go and do that?

So who am I to fall in love with? The first lady I meet? That cute girl back at the office? The wonderful cheeseburger and French fries lunch I’m headed to? Will I end up clucking like a chicken?

I’m frightened. I haven’t been in love in a long time. Then a message from her was transferred to my mind, “Trust love. But be diligent about love.”

Huh???  What???!

I think I’ll just wing it!

Belinda's Cafe - by Charlie Macias

She was good at writing little notes to herself. She was good at making lists. To-Do lists mostly. And sometimes things on the lists actually got done!

She had prepped and listed for all that needed to get done for the gathering. Cooking, baking, and cleaning the place.

All were enjoying themselves so she felt happy.

(Alternate dark ending)

What did and didn’t get done? Let’s take a look at her list! Got done: make cake, make soup, wash utensils. What didn’t get done: meet new people, stop living in an imaginary world, get out of the house once in a while.

New item on her checklist? “Don’t call Charlie an insensitive jerk-off.”