Saturday, March 16, 2013

Jaguar Therapy – Pt. 2 – by Charlie Macias

Psychiatrist: Long time no see.

Jaguar:  Yeah, I know.

P: Where you been?

J: I had to retreat to the jungle for a while. Think some things through.

P: “Things?” Like what?

J: Remember how I groused about those feral hogs having their own TV shows?

P: Yes.

J: Well, for the most part those shows are gone.

P: Okay, that should make you feel better, no?

J: You’ll never guess what’s replaced the pig shows.

P: What?

J: The mythical creature Bigfoot! Sasquatch!

P: I don’t understand.

J: Exactly! They now have a WEEKLY show about an animal that DOESN’T EVEN EXIT!!!! To make matters worse this show is repeated like twenty times during the week! It’s re-run more than Seinfeld, for God’s sake!!!

P: So, they got rid of the pig shows – and DID NOT replace them with shows about jungle creatures…like you. Instead they now do shows about a creature that doesn’t even exist.  My my.

J: In-fricking-credible.

BIRD: I will attack this cat while he’s in his despondent state.