Friday, May 27, 2011

Jaguar Therapy – by Charlie Macias

JAGUAR: I'm depressed
J: I'm feeling terribly unwanted.
P: Why's that?
J: Remember how I used to brag about being on the Animal Planet channel and National Geographic?
P: Yes.
J: Nobody's looking for me.
P; What do you mean?
J: The nature film makers, the documentarians aren't coming around.
P: No?
J: Exotic jungle animals are out. You know where the film makers are going?
P: Tell me.
J: There’s now a show called "Hogs Gone Wild" on the Discovery Channel! "Hogs Gone Wild!" Can you believe it!
P: Wow.
J: They’re covering wild boars in Florida, Texas and Hawaii! Those pigs are a bunch of marauding pests, uprooting farms, gardens and ranches. No majesty! No class.
P: You really are upset by this.
J: Damn straight! Hogs?!!!
BIRD: I will attack this cat while he's in his weakened state.