Saturday, November 21, 2009

That Just Gets My Goat – by Charlie Macias

Could somebody please tell the fairy to get her feet out of the soup?! Everything is going just swimmingly and she just has to spoil it.

Unexpected visitors drop by to enjoy some refreshments: the zebra, giraffe and ladybug (a symbol of good luck). The little girl is overjoyed by their presence and seems thrilled at the appearance of the pixie. She obviously has not noticed that the Flying One is playing footsy with the bouillabaisse.

Ok, ok – maybe I should say something about zebra germs or giraffe backwash, but, c’mon, the fairy is practically human and should have better manners!

And look at the fairy’s face! Look how smug she is. She knows she’s getting one over on the girl. Talk about taking advantage of the magnitude of her rare sighting!

It’d serve her right if the zebra sauntered over and nudged her into the bowl. Oops!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Love Detective Breaks It Down - by Charlie Macias

At first, being the cynical kind of guy that I am, I figure the young lady is upset and is crying. However, though those appear to be the crushed tears of love running down her cheek, her heart is not depicted as broken. In some cultures a teardrop tattoo under the eye can represent that someone has killed or that they are commemorating someone that has died. Could it be that this woman’s overwhelming love has smothered a man? Or three? She hardly seems dangerous.

I also don’t believe she is broken-hearted because a beauty like her can always count on finding new love, no? Am I saying that she is incapable of being heartbroken? She can surely feel the pain of love, right?

The real clue is Doris’ title of this piece: “Super Heart Girl.” The young woman has so much love that it oozes out of her pores. Her ability to feel and give love provides her with enormous strength. She radiates love. But she is no super-hero. She is not flying about in a cape.

Ironman (super-hero reference, again) had an electromagnetic heart. E.T. had a famous heart-light – -which inspired a crappy Neil Diamond song. This one brings to mind a different 70’s top forty hit : “Love Will Find A Way” by Pablo Cruise.

The picture is also very reminiscent of depictions of the Sacred Heat of Jesus. But this is a contemporary woman, mainstreamed, non-denominational.

She appears to looking ahead at someone who needs aid, who could use a shot of love. She is coming to the rescue in a less-demonstrative fashion. She is like a mystery shopper or someone conducting an undercover restaurant review. You and I may not know she’s there, but she’s changing things up.

My findings at this time are inconclusive. But the Love Detective is onto you, lady!

(No, I don’t want to hear “Calling Dr. Love” by Kiss!)

Friday, August 7, 2009

Kindergarten Blues - by Charlie Macias

It reminds me of graham crackers. That stuffed bear reminds me of animal crackers. It reminds me of kindergarten and youngsters taking cookies, cupcakes and other treats to share with their classmates on their birthday.

It reminds me of the time in kindergarten when I was walking home at lunch and I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and a cute little blonde girl slapped me for no apparent reason. She zipped past me and ran home. I started to cry and walked home sobbing. An old man was working on his car in his driveway and probably wondered what was up with that crybaby kid.

I got home and my Mom asked what happened. She grabbed me by the hand and we went to the little girl’s home. Her mother answered the door. The two moms spoke and worked thing s out. The little girl came out, tried to make nice, and showed me her cat (name not remembered).

I always hated cats after that.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Out To Sea - by Charlie Macias

Frame from the never-released 1985 movie “Aquaman” -- based on the comic book super hero. In this scene actress Virginia Madsen (see 2004’s Sideways) takes to the sea on a Rick Baker-conceptualized giant seahorse. “It was part Push-me Pull-You, part Flipper,” quipped Baker. The Aquaman role was to be taken on by water-logged Christopher Atkins (Blue Lagoon). Most of the un-used footage wound up in Kevin Costner’s ill-fated Waterworld movie. Said Madsen, playing Aquaman’s love interest, of the flick: “I kind of liked being tugged around on a seahorse all day. It was either this or Jaws 3-D!!”

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Jaguar says... - by Charlie Macias

She’s not free like me. She thinks she’s a free spirit of the universe, but she’s not.

She loves that bird, but the bird must be free like me. The bird will soon fly away.

She’s green with envy because I am truly free.

I love her boots, but she cannot catch me if she’s wearing those things.

Red velvet looks good on her, matches those gorgeous lips. The tassels remind me of Zorro.

She’s trying to hypnotize me, but I reverse the spell onto her.

I’m only sticking around for the free food.

The Daydream - by Charlie Macias

Quickly get off that swing! Let the daydream end! It’s your 77th birthday. You're not really ten years old - and all does not look good! Everything is floating away. Your life is up and away in that balloon! The flying angel is dropping off Death. And it appears that Death can walk on water just to show he’s really a major player in this scheme.

That swing is not for fun. It’s meant to lift you away into the hereafter. Even your shoes are off to make you that much lighter!

The lollipop is meant to sedate you. You won’t put up much of a fight. Chocolate cake! You’d never touch that! It’d mess up your pretty clean dress. Not exactly a wonderful celebration, eh?

You have a right to look confused.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Midnight Swim - By Charlie Macias

She’s going down for the third time. She’s resigned herself to it. She’s even lost all color, as if she’s a ghost. The skeleton hairpin all but foretells her fate. The shot forms a veritable tombstone with an inglorious, mocking skull at the top in full command. Her tears are mixed with the sea that she is about to become one with. The foam around her forms a death shroud. The waves form an inescapable mountain range. The sun isn’t coming up, signaling rescue. That’s the moon shining down and illuminating her impending doom. Such a pretty girl. She had her whole life in front of her.