Jaguar Says, Pt. 2 – by Charlie Macias

Yeah, that’s right, I’m back.

Calm down, calm down -- just because a superstar is in your midst.

Maybe you’ve seen me on the Discovery Channel? Animal Planet, maybe? You probably saw me on Nat Geo.

Oh yeah, I’m pure A-list, baby.

How do I know that?

See that bird that’s tethered down over there?

That doesn’t happen to a primetime star.

And you see that pretty chica I’m hanging with?

C’mon, do I really need to say anything more?

Don’t get jealous. Don’t be a hater.

Just using what comes naturally, y’know?

My cousin, cheetah, is really fast. My buddy Lion is ferocious.

Me? Mad hardcore jungle skills, mad jungle skills.

Oh yeah, I’m one baaaaaad cat.

Don’t Be So Negative – by Charlie Macias

It’s the mix of the innocent and the horrific. Which way are you going to be pulled? Is this piece just too damn optimistic? A lot of the time it’s all about your perception of things.

Maybe Lucille in “Nocturnal Warning” (from 1/10 below) isn’t in the middle of one great big mistake. Maybe she’s a carefree woman who is happily going about her business despite ominous surroundings.

Maybe the young woman in “Midnight Swim” (from 4/08 below) is emerging from the sea, victorious in conquering the swim across the English Channel.

Maybe the cat in “Jaguar Says” (from 6/09 below) is a willing and obedient friend to his keeper. Maybe she is imparting upon him some great knowledge of the universe.

Look at how the heroine in the above piece takes on woefulness and leaves beauty in her wake. Is the devil not impressed? Don’t you feel that the Devil is about to change his ways?

The young lady in “Love Detective” (from 9/09 below) is pure goodness. The little girl in “Gets My Goat” from 11/09) is full of pure amazement.

The world has its share of sadness and cruelty. In this world we all yearn for something good. We must have hope. Beauty and purity are all around us. Natural wonders are free. The Golden Rule, baby.

Or am I just feeling guilty about being so negative?

...don't worry, that won't last long.

Nocturnal Warning – by Charlie Macias

Let me go out on a limb with this one. This may be Doris’ most foreboding dreamscape.

I am convinced that this work entitled “Lucille” is about the dangers of unprotected sex.

Look at this cutie picking poisonous mushrooms at night. Of course they’re poisonous! Look at that skull out in the field! Look at that raven “innocently” checking out the scene in the nearby tree.

The butterfly is giving the young woman a warning. She pays no heed. She’s naïve, but very sensual. She’s wearing a see-though, flimsy, short- short dress and heels for picking mushrooms, for God’s sake!

Add it up, people: sexy woman doing something dangerous at night?

That Just Gets My Goat – by Charlie Macias

Could somebody please tell the fairy to get her feet out of the soup?! Everything is going just swimmingly and she just has to spoil it.

Unexpected visitors drop by to enjoy some refreshments: the zebra, giraffe and ladybug (a symbol of good luck). The little girl is overjoyed by their presence and seems thrilled at the appearance of the pixie. She obviously has not noticed that the Flying One is playing footsy with the bouillabaisse.

Ok, ok – maybe I should say something about zebra germs or giraffe backwash, but, c’mon, the fairy is practically human and should have better manners!

And look at the fairy’s face! Look how smug she is. She knows she’s getting one over on the girl. Talk about taking advantage of the magnitude of her rare sighting!

It’d serve her right if the zebra sauntered over and nudged her into the bowl. Oops!

Love Detective Breaks It Down - by Charlie Macias

At first, being the cynical kind of guy that I am, I figure the young lady is upset and is crying. However, though those appear to be the crushed tears of love running down her cheek, her heart is not depicted as broken. In some cultures a teardrop tattoo under the eye can represent that someone has killed or that they are commemorating someone that has died. Could it be that this woman’s overwhelming love has smothered a man? Or three? She hardly seems dangerous.

I also don’t believe she is broken-hearted because a beauty like her can always count on finding new love, no? Am I saying that she is incapable of being heartbroken? She can surely feel the pain of love, right?

The real clue is Doris’ title of this piece: “Super Heart Girl.” The young woman has so much love that it oozes out of her pores. Her ability to feel and give love provides her with enormous strength. She radiates love. But she is no super-hero. She is not flying about in a cape.

Ironman (super-hero reference, again) had an electromagnetic heart. E.T. had a famous heart-light – -which inspired a crappy Neil Diamond song. This one brings to mind a different 70’s top forty hit : “Love Will Find A Way” by Pablo Cruise.

The picture is also very reminiscent of depictions of the Sacred Heat of Jesus. But this is a contemporary woman, mainstreamed, non-denominational.

She appears to looking ahead at someone who needs aid, who could use a shot of love. She is coming to the rescue in a less-demonstrative fashion. She is like a mystery shopper or someone conducting an undercover restaurant review. You and I may not know she’s there, but she’s changing things up.

My findings at this time are inconclusive. But the Love Detective is onto you, lady!

(No, I don’t want to hear “Calling Dr. Love” by Kiss!)

Kindergarten Blues - by Charlie Macias

It reminds me of graham crackers. That stuffed bear reminds me of animal crackers. It reminds me of kindergarten and youngsters taking cookies, cupcakes and other treats to share with their classmates on their birthday.

It reminds me of the time in kindergarten when I was walking home at lunch and I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and a cute little blonde girl slapped me for no apparent reason. She zipped past me and ran home. I started to cry and walked home sobbing. An old man was working on his car in his driveway and probably wondered what was up with that crybaby kid.

I got home and my Mom asked what happened. She grabbed me by the hand and we went to the little girl’s home. Her mother answered the door. The two moms spoke and worked thing s out. The little girl came out, tried to make nice, and showed me her cat (name not remembered).

I always hated cats after that.

Out To Sea - by Charlie Macias

Frame from the never-released 1985 movie “Aquaman” -- based on the comic book super hero. In this scene actress Virginia Madsen (see 2004’s Sideways) takes to the sea on a Rick Baker-conceptualized giant seahorse. “It was part Push-me Pull-You, part Flipper,” quipped Baker. The Aquaman role was to be taken on by water-logged Christopher Atkins (Blue Lagoon). Most of the un-used footage wound up in Kevin Costner’s ill-fated Waterworld movie. Said Madsen, playing Aquaman’s love interest, of the flick: “I kind of liked being tugged around on a seahorse all day. It was either this or Jaws 3-D!!”