Escape – by Charlie Macias

She’s thinking about escape. She’s landlocked. She wishes she were a bird. The doves whisper freedom in her ear.

She looks hopelessly, longingly at the earthbound flower, the Bird of Paradise. Exactly, fly away to paradise. “Freedom” has such a wonderful ring to it. Escape would be a much welcomed occurrence.

But she can’t literally fly away. She should catch a train. Jump in the car and hit the road. Run to the airport and take to the friendly skies.

She looks ready to go, right? She’s just about ready to hit “scramble” mode. Contemplating escape. Contemplating escape. Don’t be thinking too long about it. Do it. Don’t pass up on a getaway.

She should be off on the wings of a dove. The doves should be all but pulling a magic carpet with our heroine aboard and then off to the heavens.

Meanwhile…back down to earth…to reality. Whatever our friend is escaping from it will all be right there again waiting for her when she comes back. Ain’t life great that way?

PRO: But she’ll be refreshed!
CON: Maybe we should switch this to a “Win big at Lotto” fantasy.

The New Order(s) – by Charlie Macias

Okay, here’s the plan. Little Devil #1, I think we need a new push to get certain buzzwords back in the current vernacular. We need to heighten our profile. I’m thinking food. I’m thinking “deviled-ham,” “deviled-eggs,” and “deviled-food cake.” Get on it. I want to see these items on every restaurant menu available!

Little Devil #2, you know what term I like? I like “throw a spanner in the works” - which the British use for “screwing up.” You know, “throwing a monkey wrench into things?” Now I want “the devil is in the details” to become BIG!!! I want heads of state putting this into major speeches!” I want this to be THE catch-phrase of the millennium! I want it to be found in the next techno-industrial-post-disco-extended dance mix hit!!!

Little Devil #3, I’m getting kind of sick of Hell. It’s SO old-school. Too much heat, fire and brimstone and all that. I want our new headquarters to be cool and hip. Mellow. You look into some prime oceanfront property in Malibu. Toots sweet, I want it yesterday!!!

Hide and Seek – by Charlie Macias

It’s a new game for her. The young men find her attractive. But now she just rests, cooling off.  One uses so much energy when one flirts! But she likes it. She giggles to herself. It’s no longer about swimming the fastest or being bumped into the pond.  Now the boys want to catch her.

It’s one of those perfect times.

She senses that a big change is happening, but she hasn’t quite figured it out completely yet. Still she’s aware enough to take time and think this through.

It’s so relaxing to be just under the surface of the water. She is enveloped in a coolness that may represent the calm before the storm.

Jaguar Therapy – Pt. 2 – by Charlie Macias

Psychiatrist: Long time no see.

Jaguar:  Yeah, I know.

P: Where you been?

J: I had to retreat to the jungle for a while. Think some things through.

P: “Things?” Like what?

J: Remember how I groused about those feral hogs having their own TV shows?

P: Yes.

J: Well, for the most part those shows are gone.

P: Okay, that should make you feel better, no?

J: You’ll never guess what’s replaced the pig shows.

P: What?

J: The mythical creature Bigfoot! Sasquatch!

P: I don’t understand.

J: Exactly! They now have a WEEKLY show about an animal that DOESN’T EVEN EXIT!!!! To make matters worse this show is repeated like twenty times during the week! It’s re-run more than Seinfeld, for God’s sake!!!

P: So, they got rid of the pig shows – and DID NOT replace them with shows about jungle creatures…like you. Instead they now do shows about a creature that doesn’t even exist.  My my.

J: In-fricking-credible.

BIRD: I will attack this cat while he’s in his despondent state.