The November Party – by Charlie Macias

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to hold a party in mid-November. Everyone’s gearing-up for Thanksgiving, Xmas and New Year’s. Not many folks RSVP’d. It probably wasn’t a great idea to make the party a celebration of 1977 (see cake). Maybe 1976, the Bicentennial – but ’77? That was the year of what? The death of Elvis and “Mork and Mindy?”

Not too many people showed-up. She was surprised by that. She had even hired an off-shoot of Cirque du Soleil to perform a special act over the river. That didn’t have much to do with 1977 either.

Wait! What year did that Frenchman famously walk across the Twin Towers in New York on a high wire?! Was it ’77?

Answer: No. It was 1974.

Rip-Off! - by Charlie Macias

You've seen my rants here about Doris' malevolent fairy that appears in some of her paintings (see June 2011, November 2010). Well, it's been co-opted -- which is a nice way of saying "ripped-off" or "stolen."

DirecTV is featuring NFL hall of famer "Neon" Deion Sanders in its current series of television ads hawking its pro football package Sunday Ticket.

In the ads Deion flaps about various dopey football fans and encourages them to purchase the football package. Deion literally gets in the faces of these folks, insults them, then mesmerizes them. They quickly become Sunday Ticket converts, insults aside!

Sound familiar?

Doris and I await the royalties, thank you.



(Uhhh, I'm the accountant)

Five Things to Ponder – by Charlie Macias

1. I invite you to review this piece while listening to “Tomorrow Never Knows” by the Beatles off their Revolver album. On a continuous loop.

2. The three entities are contemplating each other. It is a never-ending, circuitous imagining. The fact that Ms. Outer Space of Vast Infiniteness is part of the circle just blows my mind! Can you fathom that?!

3. This scene will surely show up as a plot twist in Star Trek 3.

4. The neck rings on Ms. Outer Space are reminiscent of the ornaments worn by the women of the Kayan tribe (Burma) and the Ndebele people (S. Africa).

5. Quick! Book me a flight on that flaming pie, magical bowl or whatever it is before it takes off!

Mushrooms On the Brain – by Charlie Macias

Her name is Annabella.

She likes mushrooms, ok?! I mean, she REALLY likes mushrooms.

She doesn’t care that the ‘shrooms are popping out of her cranium. She is actually quite content and doesn’t care what you think.

That’s a pretty strong statement.

How about an experiment? Don’t think “mushrooms.” Instead, think of any item that gives you a special buzz or any subject that is super interesting to you. Think of the things you could spend your whole day reading about, talking about, or imagining. (Since Annabella is a proper young lady -please keep your thoughts clean)

So, what’s sprouting out of your head? What are YOU crazy about and now walking around with on the top of your dome? Muscle cars? Shoes? Volleyballs? Stamps? …..Bigfoot?

Now --what if everybody adopted the thought that whatever is your individual “bag” that it is cool? And it’s all right if it just sprouted off your head.

Different strokes for…etc. etc. Can you imagine everyone taking pride in their own wacky Carmen Miranda headgear?!!! “Hello, my lady, and a tip of my hat to you!”

In this case the woman loves mushrooms. Don’t know why. Don’t really care. But she owns it; she thrilled by it.

So, Annabella, full steam ahead ….with a lot of mushrooms atop your head.

Sweet Temptation/Sweets Overload – by Charlie Macias

Uh-oh, it’s the proverbial kid in a candy store!

Is that green Jell-o or a great big peanut butter cup wrapped in foil? The lollipop and its swirl gets you dizzy/weak, no?

Too much sugar makes you vulnerable and susceptible to suggestion.

A man could get himself in a lot of trouble if he goes on too long about that chocolate dress!

Do you like her licorice hair and wax candy lips?

Check out that snake in the cotton candy. Too much good stuff leads to the danger zone. Yes, right – it’s all too good to be true. And the snake is your special prize…surprise.

Did you notice that Doris’ recurring malicious fairy showed up again? I mentioned her at length in “That Just Gets My Goat.” (see November 2009)

You must decide if the fairy is innocent and simply encouraging the girl to enjoy the cotton candy –in which case you must think the fairy knows nothing about the snake.

Or – you may see the fairy pushing the weakened, dizzy girl to either fall into the cotton candy trap – or, even worse—is the fairy pushing the girl to share her sweets with the next customer?!!

Big-time sugar crash either way. Thanks, Fairy.

You all, remember the lesson

Jaguar Therapy – by Charlie Macias

JAGUAR: I'm depressed
PSYCHIATRIST: What about?
J: I'm feeling terribly unwanted.
P: Why's that?
J: Remember how I used to brag about being on the Animal Planet channel and National Geographic?
P: Yes.
J: Nobody's looking for me.
P; What do you mean?
J: The nature film makers, the documentarians aren't coming around.
P: No?
J: Exotic jungle animals are out. You know where the film makers are going?
P: Tell me.
J: There’s now a show called "Hogs Gone Wild" on the Discovery Channel! "Hogs Gone Wild!" Can you believe it!
P: Wow.
J: They’re covering wild boars in Florida, Texas and Hawaii! Those pigs are a bunch of marauding pests, uprooting farms, gardens and ranches. No majesty! No class.
P: You really are upset by this.
J: Damn straight! Hogs?!!!
BIRD: I will attack this cat while he's in his weakened state.

Midnight Swim II – by Charlie Macias

She had to take a dip. She had to get away from the scene. He had thrown up his hands and marched into the cabin’s bedroom. He wanted the conversation to end. He just wanted some sleep. No more arguing. She felt stuff still needed to be worked out, but she was happy to stay on the couch in the living room and let things cool down -- stay on the couch for a second or two.

She needed to be cleansed. She needed time away. Clear the mind with a nighttime escape.

He would be surprised to find her gone if he came out of the room all of a sudden looking for her.

Maybe he’d make his way to the shore, smile and greet her with her bathrobe.

Awww, feels good. Another dip tomorrow night?

Nature’s Friend – Magician’s Enemy

The young woman is depicted as being “one with the world. “ The young lady has obviously transformed herself into a mountainside. Her hair forms ravines in which flowers grow. This transformation didn’t come overnight. The snail represents the long trek needed to truly come to appreciate nature.

The half moon is all but winking and smiling down on our beauty as she graduates to this enlightened state. She is at peace and completely one with the nature.

It is a bird the pulls out keys that represent knowledge and an understanding of the world.

A more menacing look at this piece may show Doris’ disdain for magicians and secrets.

Didn’t famous escape artist Harry Houdini hide a key in his mouth when he performed his escapes from shackles or a strait-jacket?

Get it? “Shackles” forbid you from a true appreciation of the world. The keys equal magician secrets. Secrets equal lies. Lies are shackles that stop you from seeing the truth. Magician secrets equal lies.

Or maybe Doris simply had a bad experience at a Penn &Teller show and is anti-magician.